Maria’s quest for a healthier body!

wow, what can i say! logged on today to find SO many comments on my last blog, thank you!!! I really appreciate all the support and it really does give me more motivation to keep on going with this!

So, how do you celebrate dropping one pound? well, if your me….by going out for dinner and drinks, lol! hardly ideal but it was good! So i visited my friend and we went out for dinner, it was really nice! I think i made ok choices, well i had some pepper and tomato bruschetta and baked seabass with boiled potatoes which was REALLY good! oh, and some tiramisu, ahem, ok….moving on! We drank way too much, and went dancing and had lots of fun!!  oh and the cheese on toast i had at 4am probably wasn’t the best choice either! anyway…..as I said, it was a fun night!

My friend that i was out with has known me for probably 8 years now and was being completly honest with me! she told me i looked great having lost weight BUT that what I was wearing did not suit me at all! lol! I was wearing a new pink/purple dress that I got a few weeks back and I really like it but as she pointed out, it did make me look way bigger than i am!! I was wearing it over black skinny jeans so she made me tie up my dress so that it ended at my waist!! it was so funny, we were in the bathrooms of the club doing costume changes, people thought we were a little crazy, ha ha! so then I went out with my “new” outfit and we got to talking and she asked me did I really not realise how great i looked now, and i said, eh, no. i have no idea, my head still thinks im really fat. I cant help it! So she made me pose for photos in the middle of the pub, it was so funny! people must have thought we were so vain!! So she took a full length picture of me and i couldn’t believe what i saw. I was staring at the photo, that couldn’t possibly be me, could it? I was amazed! My face looked pretty, my neck area was was thinner, my boobs looked big (lol!! I thank swimming for this and also with my waist getting smaller my boobs look bigger!! not complaining!!), my tummy that I have always hated is still there but MUCH smaller (thanks to the jogging!), my legs are thin (well, and curvy) and, well, I looked great! I couldn’t stop looking at the photo! I will post it up here as soon as she uploads it! i cant wait to show you all!! So it worked, she got into my head and made me realise how far I have come. My confidence soared!! so it was a great night, untill a guy she really likes started chatting me up. She pretended she didn’t care and was telling me to go for it! WHAT? as if i would! i didn’t know him and he didn’t know me and i would never ever do that to my friend. But he did say i was hot stuff, ha ha, what can i say! whether he meant it or not I don’t know, but hey, it was nice to hear! weird, but nice!!

So I am now back home again, slightly hungover and chilling out for another half hour before I have to go shower and go to work, then sign language class, then see my friends band play in a bar (i plan on not drinking tonight!!), I will sleep well tonight, I think i’ll be so tired!

So one bad point being I don’t have time to jog!! I’m not happy about that, I really wanted to!!! I missed yesterday and I couldn’t today, I had to make lunch as I hadn’t eaten breakfast cause I was on the bus for 2 hours! so no time and to be honest not enough energy to jog! So i am looking forward to jogging tomorrow and saturday! I have never looked forward to exercise before, this is a change!! I am going to take my measurements soon aswell, I feel like i have toned up a lot in the last few weeks and want to see if my measurements reflect this!

So, going to go read some blogs and see how everyone is. I’ll catch up on the rest tomorrow!

Mia

thank you to everyone who replied on my last blog, you know who you are and i appreciate all your comments. I think realising I am not alone with all these things I struggle with is pretty much the best thing to have come from being on buddyslim. I write rambling blogs and silly situations I find myself in and think that they don’t make sense but then someone will reply saying, yep I understand, I feel the same way etc. It really makes a huge difference to me!

Ok so was down a pound today..woo woo! 196! but my official weigh in day being monday so i log it? you know what? i think i might, sod the rules! i haven’t been able to move my weight ticker in so long i might just go for it! lol! WOW! I just realised something as I was typing this!!! I am so excited!! ok, I should probably explain! hadn’t checked my bmi in a while, I AM NO LONGER OBESE!!!!! woo!! so I am definitely logging that 1 pound loss!! I started last august with a bmi of 34 and now, as of 10 seconds ago, lol, I am 29.8!! under 30, so overweight and not obese!!! yay!! lol, whoever thought i’d be so happy about being called overweight…ha ha! i am really happy about this! (as you might be able to guess!). AND i am now 14stone exactly, one more pound and i will be 13 stone something. wow, i cannot remember when i wasn’t in the 14stone range. wow, good day today! yipee!

ok, excitement over, for now! So eating was great yesterday (hence the 1 pound down i think) and went for that jog. Was meant to jog today but was in staff meetings all morning and it is raining!! and i have to go and get a bus now. Going to visit a friend tonight, she lives bout 2 hours away, i would drive but the bus is only 10 euro return so cheaper than petrol! and i can also have a drink tonight without worrying about driving back in the morning! we are going to a free gig that is on tonight, going to go out for dinner first, be nice to catch up. hopefully i make some good choices at dinner. I have only had 7 or 800 calories so far today so i have room for a (healthy) dinner and a drink or two. hmmm. let’s see if this works! so I plan on jogging again tomorrow when I get back, then friday too. and you know what? i am looking forward to it, lol! i really would have went today but time was against me!!

ok, so im off to get the bus. gotta stop by the internet cafe on the way as i need to print out my bus ticket (cheap special offers if you buy online! what can i say, i am broke!) and i have no printer at home. Hope everyone is having a good day. I will get a chance to read up on some blogs tomorrow or friday depending on how busy i am. I have started trying to read most/all of the blogs on here as they come up and comment on any i can give input to, is it just me or are there SO many people blogging at the minute? I’m finding it hard to get through them all! This is great that people are blogging though, hope it helps everyone as much as it is helping me!

take care

ok, so I jogged again this morning! week 3! so i think this means I am getting into it, right??! lol! I had to up my times today (I’m following a fitness plan from an magazine!). So today I did 3 min walk, 4 min jog, 3 walk, 4 jog, 3 walk, 4 jog, 3 walk and final 4 jog. Total 28 minutes!! it  got hard towards the end but I did it and felt great after! well, not straight after, but maybe 5 mins after, lol! I have to jog another 3 days this week with those same intervals so hopefully I manage this, I know I will!!

So, today is a good day. no real reason to be honest, just feeling motivated and in a good mood! Some days I seem to see things in the most pessimistic way possible but I have noticed the last few months that I have way more great days and way less terrible days. I think that going through all these changes, of weight loss being just one!, I have developed a much more positive outlook on life. Blogging on buddyslim has helped me talk about my feelings, I was never able to do that before. I am so open with my best friends now, I tell them that I love them (seriously I would be lost without them!!), I tell them when I’m sad and I tell them when something is bothering me. and above all i tell them when I miss them, which is all the time! lol!but i get to see them this weekend for party time, woo woo!

Which leads me to my motivation for this week, lol! there are 2 parties on this saturday night, 2 different groups of our friends. So we will probably try and make it to both. There is this guy at one of the parties (it’s his house warming party) and I’ve known him for years and well, we have kinda hooked up before, last year, and the year before! he is a nice guy but i know he doesn’t like me as more than a friend (or whatver) and does not want a relationship with me. But I always ended up kissing him before because I think I felt so bad about myself that any bit of attention and affection he sent my way I took (and also I would have been drinking much too much…I have cut way down…). So I will see him on Saturday and I want to be looking GREAT and feeling FANTASTIC!! LOL!!! not because I want him to like me, but because I want to like me! and i will not get myself into that situation with him again because even though he is a friend and we get on well I think I’m worth more than this. It’s kinda all or nothing with me now, I do like him and if he likes me back, great. but I want it to develop into a relationship, I won’t settle for just a bit of fun! So hopefully I can keep up this positivity at the weekend and feel great about myself! Sorry, I realise this scenario may not make much sense, but it does to me, lol!!!

Ok so eating yesterday, went overboard cause I made a lasanga for clients in work! it was GOOD and I ate too high calories! but I jogged again today so it’s fine, well it may not be, but I don’t mind really!! Calories on track for today, gotta go shower and leave for work now soon. Only doing a few hours so a quiet night in then I think.

Ok, long rambling blog, sorry….just getting some thoughts down on paper!

Have a fantastic day everyone, and thanks so much for the encouragement on my blogs in recent days, very much appreciated!!

Mia xx

still 197 pounds. but am i down???? nope!  (well, ok, if i’m honest I am a little frustrated, not down…there is a difference…lol!!). I think that starting jogging these last 2 weeks is making me tone up alot and maybe i have put on a pound or two of muscle? maybe??

But my eating wasn’t in check all week so i didn’t deserve to drop any pounds really! But I really am thinking i will try and ignore the scales…maybe for one month and just go by measurements and work really hard on my exercise! hmmm…if i could do this i would be so proud of myself, but i worry that i would let my weight go up without my scale to keep me in check…what does everyone else do?? i need something to give me a kick up the backside!

Which leads me to the frustration….not feeling down, just frustrated, lol!! it has taken me 4 months to lose a stone (14 pounds)!! Now if I am being optimistic I look at it that I have lost a stone (well I’ve lost two). That it has stayed off, I am losing it slowly (very) but I am maintaining my loss along the way! But if I am being pessimistic I think how has it taken so long (well I know this, because I keep going off the rails!!!) and this is way too slow to be losing!! anyway, I’ll try and stick with optimism today!

Ok, so going to try and control the calories today and NOT overeat! Not going to exercise today, going to have a rest day because i will be jogging the next 2 days. And I am working at 4pm till 10 tomorrow morning (get to sleep for a few hours, so it’s ok!)  and i don’t want to be too tired for work! i had a good sleep last night but still a little tired today. Actually maybe I will try some exercises, stretches, push ups and sit ups. I used to do these all the time (years ago!!) and haven’t done any in such a long time so maybe today is the day!!

Ok, off to read some blogs and see what’s happening in the world of buddyslim today!

LOL! i went for that jog I blogged about an hour or so ago! yay! i am happy i went, it was hard work. I only started my jogging too weeks ago so this was my 6th jog (yep, STILL counting!!) and it has been sunny those 2 weeks. but as blaithin pointed out, yes, we live in ireland and it rains constantly here, so you have to get used to the rain!! lol! It was a little harder I found with the rain lashing against me (I was jogging right beside the sea so the nice atlantic rain and wind coming straight at me!)  it was harder than before but i still did it, and it took me only a few minutes to feel right again afterwards, whereas i was wrecked for half an hour after my first jog! yay, I will keep on keeping on with the jogging!

So came home and had some lovely baked salmon and veg….mmmm! was really good! have eaten too much today (overate in work earlier, oh well!) haven’t logged calories today or yesterday because, well i actually have no idea why not, i think i wanted to overeat and didn’t want to feel guilty about it. ooops, did i just admit that? hmmm. not good. well, it’s done now! i would love to not have to log calories and keep my eating in check but it seems i am not there yet. but tomorrow being monday morning i will start tracking calories again!

So this week was great exercise wise….yay. and smoking wise (well, i had two…ooooops!). and foodwise was pretty good most days. so an ok week, i know i won’t have lost though, and i’m ok with that i think. i wish i could just ignore the scales for the next few weeks and concentrate on exercise and try and see changes in my body shape instead of caring about a pound or two….maybe that will be plan for the next few weeks. now, where can i hide my scale that i won’t find it, lol!!

off to read some blogs and see how everyones weekend is going! other than that i am taking it easy (it’s 7pm here) and i am up since 6.30am, worked 7am-3pm and went for that jog so a quiet night in for me!

Mia

because I want to go out for a jog! and I am currently having the battle in my head and am trying to convince myself to go anyway, rain or no rain! how great would i feel afterwards and proud of myself that i got a jog in!!!? so, yeah, I plan on going. Worked 7 to 3 and came home and changed into my gym gear (so i couldn’t slack off!) and said I would go at 5pm (needed a bit of a rest after work!).So it is now 4.30pm and I now am being swayed by the fact Sister Act is on tv (ha ha!) and it isn’t over till 5.45pm!! But this really shouldn’t stop me (i know, any excuse!) but I have seen it approximately 200 times before (lol: i love it!!) so I can nearly recite it myself, so need to watch!

Ok, so I will go…i have to go…i need to go…ahhhh….positive thoughts!! not the best day eating wise so i REALLY need to go!! will be back later to let ye know if I have….lets hope I get my butt up off the sofa!

well i am currently playing a game of online scrabble with a friend (what can i say, i’m a little nerdy at times, lol!) and i scored the word diet! (got my 21 points on a triple word score if anyone’s interested!!). The ironic thing is that I was eating my way through a chocolate bar at the same thing and am still feeling full after eating too much dinner!! ha ha!

oh well! didn’t have the best day eating wise, healthy food just ate too much. well the chocolate bar i just ate wasn’t good, well it tasted good, but not good diet wise!! i DID wear my pedometer to work, was just curious to see how many steps i would do in work. 9700 in an 8 hour shift!! pretty good i thought!! so i HAD planned on going for my jog this evening but it didn’t happen, got lazy

Oh well, working again at 7am in morning so at least i’ll get some steps in! My two best friends (that I am moving to london with in a few months) are both getting boyfriends, lol! well, early days!! it’s funny, these things seem to come in stages….we are either all single or all coupled. (we are 24, 25 and 27 and friends for 8 years!) In the last week they have both been told by male friends of ours (different ones!!) that they like them as more than friends! and neither of them saw it coming (i kind of had, i can usually tell when people fancy eachother!!). I am really happy for both of them, they are both great friends, and the guys are 2 of the nicest guys ever, i hope it works out for them! I am not jealous at all, but a little part of me can’t help but think: “when’s it my turn?”…i have been single quite a while now (over 2 years) and i would love to meet a guy (or have one of my friends tell me he likes me, lol!! actually no that might be a little weird!). anyway, i’m not on a downer or anything, it’s just got me thinking!

Ok, so not the best day diet wise, didnt log calories at all…here’s to tomorrow being better and getting my jog in!!

have a good evening, i’m having a boring sat night in cause of working so early in the morning, so me, the tv and of course my online scrabble, lol!

haven’t posted this here in a day or two and those days were WAY over on calories….coincidence? possibly. but if it helps me writing this here then that’s what i will do! went for my jog this morning, 24 mins total with 4 minute walking/jogging intervals. Will go again tomorrow or sunday. I am really motivated to keep jogging because I feel such a great sense of achievement after i’ve done it!! i still find it quite tough at the time but it takes me an awful lot less time to recover afterwards…so that’s a good thing!

Food today:

Breakfast: 2 weetabix & milk. yogurt: 270

Snack: 2 satsumas: 50

Lunch: wholegrain rice, quorn pieces, strifry of onion, leek, celery, courgette, pepper, baby corn, mangetout,  mushrooms, spinach.spray oil. hummus: 435

Snack: 2 biscuits: 120 cals

Dinner: wholegrain rice, tuna, chickpeas, 2 rice cakes, cheese triangle, gherkin: 530

Snack: yogurt. low cal hot choc: 110

Total: 1515

It’s 9.30pm now so this is the total for the day, I am happy with this.  Working 7am-3pm tomorrow…i HATE starting work this early! I much prefer to work a late shift. Oh well! Hopefully I can keep my eating on track while at work!

And i know tomorrow can be another good day

this was something myself and my friend were discussing on our walk yesterday. Even here, where we use UK sizes and size zero doesn’t even exist, people are still obsessed with it! here uk size 6 is smallest (I think!?) and that is the equivalent. But really, if I put my mind to it could I be a size zero? and more importantly, would I want to?

Well, my conclusion was that I honestly don’t think I could ever be a size zero, unless i was living with anorexia and had been for a very long time. I just don’t think my build would ever allow me to be that small. I am currently a uk size 16 (us 12 i think?). We came to the conclusion that there is only so much that you can change your body: people have a natural body shape and I don’t think we can veer TOO far from that. But how do we know what our natural body shape is? Well, for me personally if I look at my family they are all tall and well built, no body is skinny so if I was to set that as my aim I would be completely going against my own body. I think. Is this accurate? or maybe if I look back at my childhood I have always been overweight. I don’t think I was ever obese but I was never ever skinny either. So did I eat too much or was this the way I supposed to be? it made us think on our walk anyway!

And then to the fact of would I actually want to be size zero, uk 6, whatever? Personally (and i know this is my own view) but I don’t ever really aspire to look like celebrities. I read the gossip magazines and I watch the modelling programmes but I never really get sucked into it in a way that makes me want to look like them. I am always, without fail, envious of flat stomachs. I WANT a flat stomach!!! but i think this is where my envy stops. Maybe when I was younger this was more of a consideration, wanting to look a certain way, but now I must admit that my motivation is wanting to be happy with what I see in the mirror. I like curves, I like my curves and I aspire to be happy with the way I look. Which is as much got to do with the inside as the outside! Yes I want to feel attractive, I would love to be sexy (some day!! lol!) but more than anything else I want to be happy and live my life to the full! and losing weight and gaining confidence will definetly play a part in this. it is already, I am beginning to like what i see in the mirror, which is such a new revelation to me. a great one.

So, just thought I’d share our discussion, these were our motivations for losing weight, maybe yours are completely different and maybe our views differ entirely on this subject, but all I know is that if I keep my goals in my mind hopefully I will find the motivation and the will power within myself to get there.

because I could really do with some! I don’t know what it is but I seem to stick to my eating really well for a day or two and then I tend to bo bingeing! this week it’s been on sweets…..anyway, the box I had at home was finished so at least the temptation is gone (I know I should have just thrown them away but I couldn’t do it!!). I need to stop stepping on the scale too because I am hovering around the same sort of spot and it’s getting to me. So i will TRY again to just weigh weekly because I know it is best.  So my eating seems to go overboard most days so I think I just have to up the exercise, it’s the only way I might get some results!! my exercise has been really good this week and I can see definite results in the way my body is toning up but the change isn’t on the scale….am i too obsessed with the numbers on the scale???? yes. yes i am! So if I can try and stay away from it and up the exercise I willbe happy! I find that I sleep better when I’ve exercised, I need less sleep to wake up feeling ready to face the day and I feel much better about myself after I exercise. So these are only a  few of the reasons why I have to keep up the exercise I’m doing and try and do more!!

Ok, so I am working all weekend so I won’t be going out drinking so at least that will stop that temptation!! But I am going to visit my friends next weekend and that will mean party time so I have to put in as much effort as I can over the next week!!

Have a good weekend everyone